Letting go of Viewing Your/My Stories as “BS Stories”
Lessons from this Past Weekend Part 1/5
So the past weekend was deep.
After some group ceremonial work I gave myself the gift of connecting to stillness.
One of the things came up was the awareness of how I was still sometimes being unkind in a way I wasn’t realizing. Mostly to myself, but also through the use of generalized language when speaking about others even when intending to speak positively and non-judgmentally!
What came up was that I realized I was still sometimes using descriptive language as ‘BS stories’ in the context of stories we tell ourselves about ourselves or about the world/the external – the beliefs and thoughts we hold.
Language that carries a strong sense of judgment.
No, they are not BS stories!
They are just a story.
Period.
How can a story be BS if it is chosen unconsciously.
How can we judge ourselves for doing something we do not even realize what we are doing?
Yet we do so all the time.
The story may be destructive, but it is not BS. It is simply what it is, the story, the unaware attachment that we carry around with us.
And as destructive as it may be, as disempowering and as limiting. It is not BS.
Once that has been brought into awareness, into experience, the labelling, the judgment of the story can be dropped.
It is often difficult enough to deal with removal of the story in the first place.
Calling it BS and by unconscious extension judging us for being stupid or not seeing it adds an additional unnecessary layer where love is not possible.
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As you can see, the remnants of my extreme toughness phase still lingers (mostly to self and that I’ve carried with me a big part of my life), but without realizing I also had this attitude towards the world. Toughness/hardness is a resistance to what is. And resistance isa form of unhealthy attachment.
It still likes to surface back from time to time, albeit less and milder.
However I believe this is something that we nearly all face – we tend to be toughest and hardest on ourselves. And to deal with it we often fight it!
We fight hardness with more hardness but that never works!
Hardness can not be overwon with hardness, as that just results in even more hardness.
It is only through softness, through loving embrace that hardness is overcome.
Practising loving kindness.
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Beliefs and thoughts (about ourselves, the world) tend to carry intense emotion that we are unaware of, intense energy. It can either be destructive, limiting, draining energy or empowering, fuelling energy.
Is the way you thinking loaded with energy?
If you are truly tuned in with your body you can feel it…
That when you think or speak about certain things or people you feel a heaviness or lightness, tension or ease.
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Stillness is something most people do not understand, let alone practise.
As you see this is a very strong departure from all the no-excuses/stop the BS platitudes that get thrown around by most mindset coaches and in motivational settings.
When I observe that space I see there is so much judgment, anger, bitterness in a lot of these movements especially with men. A lot of angry men – think of the Andrew Tates. Ultimately a complete lack of self-love and true connection.
Not only do I take complete distance from that in a ‘hateful’ way, I try to embrace it and leave it with a sense of compassion, partly to myself as I had been there in the past, but partly to those still stuck in that loop. Compassion for others is simultaneous compassion for oneself.
Embrace of another is an embrace to your self, embrace of your self is an embrace of the other.
I am not religious, but what came up as I was writing this is what Jesus said whilst he was put on the cross: “Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Truly understanding this (beyond intellect) has a profound new meaning.
And it is like that with regard to anything, not just forgiving and loving your killers
THAT is unconditionality in love. A love that is so great (which is why it is called divine or God’s love).
Even experiencing this for a few seconds can be so transformative it can hardly be described in words.
Nothing comes even close.
His love was so great he forgave his killers.
Realize that forgiving is NEVER about the other person but 100% about oneself.
Love is 100% an inside job.
The above should not be viewed in a religious context. I am using the above story as it is a relatable one to people in the West.
Whether Jesus was real or whether it was symbolic is beside the point, and ultimately that does not even matter.
I have my own views but they are irrelevant.
Accessing Buddha nature, samadhi or whatever other philosophical writing is used to describe that
It’s all the same.
Attachment to any of these just leads to separation of the true meaning behind it – which is universal and makes no distinction between what religious doctrine or spiritual belief system one follows.
In my own evolution when it comes to religion – something I once passionately hated, I now view myself as connected to ALL, attached to none.
The words in each on their own are meaningless – yet their differing interpretation creates so much attachment and division. If their interpretation leads to division and separation, believing that one is better/holier than ANY other person on Earth, then one has simply NOT understood the True meaning of the teaching.
Devotion to one guru, idol, teacher is that too.
What about the person sitting next to you? The person no-one knows about?
Who are you to the people that don’t seem to matter? How do you treat the people that are NOT an idol, that are NOT famous, that have not achieved much (by societal standards)?
Who are you when nobody is watching?
There is always someone watching.